Stress:
Stress is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. Everyone experiences stress to some degree.
– World Health Organisation (WHO)
Stress is something everyone feels at times, especially when dealing with change or life challenges, such as money worries, work issues or relationship problems.
– UK National Health Service
Anxiety:
Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe. Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life. For example, you may feel worried and anxious about sitting an exam or having a medical test or job interview.
– UK National Health Service
Anxiety is an emotion characterised by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure.
– American Psychological Association
So, what’s the difference between stress and anxiety?
Stress is a natural physical or mental response to an external stimulus.
Anxiety is your body’s reaction to it and can occur even if there’s no immediate threat.
That’s what it is, but what causes it?
Here are a few thoughts:
Realise it’s normal!
Look at the first definition on the previous page from the WHO. As we’ve said, stress is a natural physical or mental response to an external stimulus such as:
A personal health worry, or the concern for a family member or friend’s health.
Too much work.
Facing a stressful work environment or a number of ongoing stressful situations.
You feel a situation is outside of your control.
You feel overwhelmed.
You experience discrimination, hate, abuse or even bullying.
Perhaps you don’t feel you have enough activity or responsibility in your life.
You feel out of control, due to any number of issues or events.
Perhaps you feel you have to do everything!
It could be some of these, a combination of some or all of them or other issues not listed.
Identify what’s causing your stress.
Sounds obvious doesn’t it? But it may not be as easy as it sounds. To identify what’s really stressing you out, try examining your intrinsic habits, your attitudes and how you justify them:
Do you explain away stress as something that will go away? “I have an awful lot on at the moment, but things will get better.”
When was the last time you took a breather or a break?
Do you define stress as something particular to you or your environment? “It’s always mad around here”, “I have a lot of nervous energy. It’s just me, it’s how I am.”
Perhaps we blame our stress on other people such as our boss or other team members. It could be other events that we feel are outside our control.
How can we deal with it?
Stating what stress is, is one thing, but working out how to deal with it is another thing altogether. One thing is certain, if you’re feeling highly stressed, it will require you to change your behaviour. And we all know how difficult changing our behaviour can be!
Some suggestions:
Talk to somebody else that you trust, preferably somebody who is a good listener. (we will talk about the importance of listening skills in coaching, this is no different.) Look out for team members who are stressed and offer to ‘lend them and ear.’
Talk to your manager at your next 1:1. Talking about the things that stress you and cause anxiety, is a sign of strength not weakness.
Stop procrastinating. Decide on a course of action and stick to it. This may be harder for some people than others.
Exercise. Walk instead of driving or getting the bus. Do some light running if you can, you might even find you enjoy it. Develop other forms of physical activity.
Develop a good sleep pattern. If you have a busy day ahead get to bed early.
Avoid spending too much time in front of the TV or on your tablet or phone. This can be mind-numbing.
Practice saying ‘no’. You can’t do everything for everyone but if people know you’re willing you risk them taking advantage of you.
Focus on your ‘to do’ list, if you have one. Prioritise your list, you might find crossing items off your list can de-stress you. I sometimes add items to my list so as I can cross them off!
Try to avoid people who stress you out. Difficult to do at work, perhaps you can give them feedback? If it’s in your private life, limit the time you spend with them.
Take control of your environment. Try to avoid situations or people that stress you. Be prepared to flex your behaviour, it will improve your state of mind and other people will respond better to you.
Do you feel overwhelmed? Are you taking on too much? When stress is bad, break the day into hours and focus on getting through each one. If the end result of a task seems unattainable, break it into small chunks and complete it one chunk at a time.
Finally, we talk about Introversion and Extroversion in the Leadership Academy. If you’re an introvert practice expressing your feelings. If you don’t it may become stressful.
If you’re an extrovert practice active listening to ensure you have the full picture prior to commenting.
Further, we’ll also discuss assertiveness in the Leadership Academy. Not being aggressive, or passive but having the confidence to be assertive whilst respecting the opinions of others.
It’s all about finding the right balance for you and developing your own methods of dealing with stress.
Control!
One of the most important things in our view, and something that we try to practice on an ongoing basis, is not to stress over things that we have no control over. If you can’t control it, why stress about it? If you can control it, do something about it! Take action before it gets worse.
What is it that stresses you? Can you identify it? Think of your major risks, work or personal, and plan how you will overcome them.
It’s like managing risk, think about it, make a plan, and take action!
If it’s a major incident at work, think through how you will approach it. Depending upon the situation, you may need to put your stress aside and focus on the outcome. You will find this much easier if you’ve spent time thinking it through beforehand. When it’s done talk to your manager about your experience.
Deal with it and overcome it, take a deep breath, try to be mindful and self-aware. Control it, don’t let it control you.